
VENICE (The Borowitz Report)—Disaster struck the much-anticipated wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez on Friday after a tent from Amazon Basics suddenly collapsed.
As news of the canceled nuptials spread, Venetians who had protested the wedding’s presence in their city erupted in jubilation.
“I have never seen the people of Venice so happy,” one longtime resident said. “This was a bigger celebration than Carnevale.”
According to witnesses of the tent collapse, Lauren Sanchez’s face remarkably did not change expressions.